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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

merry Christmas everyone!

it 25th december the month of our saviour Jesus christ was born... lets cherish each of our day and have fun! Merry Christmas again i wish to you all.... today... for the second time celebrating Christmas without my family around me... hard time.. but still thanks goodness i have my second family here... my friends~~!!! we celebrating christmas together~!!! :D

today i follow my friends to KAJANG CHURCH.... where we go to have our mass first and celebrate our birth of the savior... feel joyful cause there's a lot of people around... and how the celebrate it today... i can feel the mood... the christmas spirit... i just love seeing all this christmas spirit in everyone heart... <3

after that we decide to go to explore KL for the time being~~!! going to KLCC then to Bukit bintang~~!! there's a lot of christmas tree around KL... plus i can feel that the theme for this year is PURPLE... a lot of purple and i love it... cause purple is my favourite colour! here are my time in KL.... my free time away from assignment~~!! here my day... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Monday, December 23, 2013

i really wish you miss me too...

hi all...

i don't have a really good feeling now... maybe because its been a week that i was very happy thinking of someone who hardly i gonna meet again.... today... its was my first time the tears fall out... i don't really know... but i was very happy this morning till afternoon that i saw something that hurt my heart... its just a picture only but then a lot of though start to appear... maybe because i really miss you so much... but then... i notice that you going to some sort of event... i found out that you having so much fun... meeting a lot of people and.... very close to others too... i was just don't know how to express my feeling but just can keep my feeling toward myself and it hurt my heart so much that i end up crying before i even going to nap... napping is something i do in order to forgot something or don't want to think about it... but then as i awake... i start think about you again.... why is this happening!!! is this call as jealousy?? but then you not even my someone... just someone that i have feeling with and just a crush???

why is my feeling playing with me??? knowing that

Saturday, December 21, 2013

christmas!!!! 4 more day in countdown~~!!!

hi all....

its been a while right... hye! its 4 more days till Christmas... anyone exciting of this season... i know i am very exciting of it~~~!!! its Christmas day, the day of our savior was born... come down on earth to save us from our sin.... my Jesus, my savior.... someone has save me long time ago... He is my hero... Jesus... thank you for you present on this earth and saving all your people and lead them to the right path... up till now... your teaching have been spread throughout the world... there will be so many soul had been save by your present long time ago... i always know that you will always be with us.. no matter where we are... you are with us... not long again is your birthday.... i hoping to celebrate your birthday with my family around but... thats okay... i have my family here... my friends... they are my family here... Jesus... thank you for your present here on earth!!!!

Friday, December 13, 2013

born to be the real, not to be perfect!


hello all dear blogger reader....

have you all ever go through a lot of hardship of what people think or talk about yourself??? i guess all of us has been through it right??? there are no exception... including me... i also heard that i been badmouth by others too... not someone thats knows me... but from someone that are really close to me... it is really hurt that people badmouthing you right? really hurt... especially someone that you're close to and someone that you see them like a family to you... but to tell the truth... you're bad words about me behind me won't make me lose my hope in my life but to tell me which people i should trust and believe in... my ears are as sharp as a knife that i know whoever that talk bad about me behind my back.. you stab me from the back, don't regret how i gonna treat you back... i won't stay back cause... i just be good to people who good to me but not to someone who stab others from behind...

gossiping?? rumors?? you believe in what people said before even before identify it if it is truth or not... sorry to said, you are dumb or idiot to even believe in it... rumors and gossip are spread by idiot  and believe by idiot... sorry that i use the inappropriate word in this blog but it is true!


we are born to be who we want to be... and not what others ask us to be... pretend to be who you are not is like you are living in a world where this world is not mean for you but for others,,, you too have the voice to speak for yourself so why don't just use your voice to speak up..! so just be yourself... don't be what others ask you to be... you won't feel the happiness of living in this world and happy to be and live as you! believe in yourself that your life is in your hand and not in others hand~~!! so remember... we are born to be real but not to be perfect! remember that~~!!!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

its just too fast~~~


i just realize something about love... love is something we need to be patient of... if one of the side start to take one take forward.... you will be end up in friend-zone.. thats for sure... its hard to denied it... but i had been seeing it with my own eyes... so... just take one step at a time is better... if too fast... everything we plan of will be broken... just be patient.... fruit won't grow fast with just a blink of eyes right? so how about the patient to wait for it to grow? just stay still and everything will be okay!

to tell the truth lar... right now... i fell that i not interested on search for my other half right now... just that... i give up on trying to find one... i always told myself... it will be when it gonna be... just let it naturally happen... maybe that will make me think of myself more then think of others... i always think of others feeling... how about my feeling? is it just a piece of paper to write on....?? i guess... i need to pay attention on myself then others now... i am more important to myself... me and only me... thats all i gonna think of... when think back again... assignment really freak me off last semester... now... i need to always taking care of them... distinction... you are my target to graduate in the first class... thats my target for 2015! i gonna graduate soon within 1 years from now!

just let it naturally happen... if love really is my year for this year... maybe i will accept it... i just said MAYBE.... but if not.. let it be like that... if it really happen.. i will be very happy! for just some reason... hahaha xD just wanna comfort myself... out of stress is something better then never right??!! so don't worry... just be patient and take one step at a time! :D

Thursday, December 5, 2013

dream....


i always wonder.. dream... why, what , when ,where and how.. its happen.. lately... i having so many type of dream till i wonder... why do i dream about this?? sometime.. i just feel weird with my dream.. its feel and look real... but the true is it was just a dream that i dream... in my dream... i always think that it is real... since... the people i dream is all i recognize by voice and name and person... its hard to differentiate am i dreaming or not... cause everything seem logic and make sense to me... 

sometime i really hope that what i am dreaming is true... cause thats how i want my life to be... i just realize that i am too brave in my dream then in reality.. where i can said whatever i want without any worry but the real me can't cause i will always think how the other will think and their emotional... i just don't like to hurt others...

saying about hurt... am i gonna hurt others soon... cause i feel like i gonna be.. but...... i just hate to know that i gonna hurt another person... they are my friends... but i scare my action will hurt them emotionally and not physically... the pain that i really scare to hurt my friend is through emotional... cause that will give them a big wound in their heart.... but i how i won't... i just hope...

wow... another 26 days to go until the end of the year 2013... so fast... really fast.. how will i end my 2013 life?? single?? in relationship?? hmm.... lets see what will happen.. hehehe xD i just like to wonder around a lot... how will my 2013 life end... and how will my life in 2014 start and move?? i wonder... i just hope that i will be happy and gain more experience in life... hope for the best and the best is for me! 


Monday, December 2, 2013

i'm a reflection.....


hi and good morning all... :D

its a raining day today and my mood is not quite fine today.... just because of i awake at the wrong side of the bed... well... i also woke up and the middle of the night... >.< i really hate to wake up by that time......... feeling moody today... >.<

i hate to admit that i was wrong... when i do said sorry i really admit it... so don't take my apology for granted... i mean what i said and i do what i do... thats hows i am... i'm a human too.... i do make mistake... i'm not that perfect... not all the thing i can do... there also thing i can't do... i'm human... if i can do everything.. then... i am not me... thats different cases...
so... please treat me like others too... i may hurt others feeling in progress or while knowing others... but i will always said sorry if i do hurt others... but if they start to treat me in the wrong way... then i also will treat them the same way they treat me... i'm a reflection in the social... you treat me that way... i treat you my way... see how hurt the way others treat me like how i treat them.... they treat me in a good way... i will treat them more better then how they treat me... its hurt to know that the person you think as your friend stab you from behind... you can notice it the way how they treat you... but i won't show that i hurt from what they done... cause... if i show that i am that weak.. thats mean.. they win and they are happy for what they done but they won't know the pain that hunt the person that they hurt... the person that they hurt think that they are her/his friend and trust them more... but when the trust has been broken.... thats when everything that been keep will lost and hard to stick back again....

so everyone... if you think it is fun to hurt others... hurt them more.. but if you were hurt in the process... don't ever be angry or mad at them... it is you who hurt them first and they treat you the same as you treat them... maybe they are a reflection like me... so beware of how you treat others.. cause thats how they treat you back... this world have karma... what go around come around.... remember that!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Hello December!


hello everyone!

its December! December... this is my favourite month of the year! not because of its the last month of the year but because is it nearly Christmas... ya~~~!! its Christmas... the month of our savior was born... born into this world to save all that believe in Him.. God so love the world that He gave his only son to this world to save us.... this is why i feel so happy this day that i know i have been save! yes! i am been save! this is why i love the month of December... it was to remind me about the love of God... that is so expensive to buy cause it is priceless... With God by my side, i can do everything that i feel i can't... cause... "I can do everything through Him who gave me strength" Philippians 4:13... thats what the bible said!

in this month of December... i just can hope for happiness... i just hope for happiness for my family and friends... hope every of their wish come true! by the way... make sure stay tight and take care of your health this December... cause it is the last month of the year.. before we step our foot in the year of 2014~~~!!! stay happy and stay healthy!! in the month of December!

Friday, November 29, 2013

Missing Home... holiday... where are you???


its had been a week i'm here back in college and i feel a bit miss home now... all i think is all my mom home-cook food and my bed.... >.< i really miss home.... beside that... its been a week that my classes had start... so far so good.... since it is a short semester for this sem... it was state that the maximum subject that needed to be taken by the student is just 2 subject but my case is different... 3 subjects... cool right.. i had been busy this week... with the society that i been assign... hopefully everything will be fine!

how i wish that i still holiday... >.< i miss my home back in sarawak.... as well as my family... its hurt to left family behind while i was study... sometime... i am envy to the student here at the peninsular Malaysia... where they can back to their home every weekend... really envy them... i miss my family a lot... since i always play along with them last semester break... i really wish to play with them again... really miss my mom and my dad... the picture beside is me and daddy and mommy play with the camera to capture a lot of picture.... my family was fun... really sporting when play along...
especially my dad... :) its was when my semester break last time.... >.< really miss holiday already! and also.. since my little sister had done her final exam... she is home already till the time she been put in any university... now just wait for the university result... i really hope that i was back at home... at least i can accompany my little sister for her short break! but what to do.... i need to back to college for my study... well then.. see you sooner my little sister a... :D

oh ya... i had my racket back now,.... its has tighten with new strings already... since last semester my racket strings broken... i can play it now... just wait for tomorrow... i can go exercise back... i just can't wait to go to exercise! at least it can make my stress to be reduces...

Monday, November 25, 2013

new semester!


and so~~~
my holiday had end.... my semester break end already yesterday... i'm back to where i am before the semester break... jjang jjang jjang! UNIVERSITY! i'm back! to my university life.... >.< how i wish my semester break is very very long... 3 weeks are not enough for me.... i still want holiday... i miss my every night bed at home... my bed... sorry i betrayed you with another bed for another 2 month... so... please understand it a... hehehe xD

just now... i just after finish register for my new semester... and for your information... this semester is short semester... >.< soooooooooooooooooo...... my  timetable for this semester is sooooooooooooo beautiful that i also don't know how to said... its so beautiful... till i don't have time for myself! >.< its very pack! i hope that i still can survive it! anyway.... i hope i still alive from it...

so... for today! i want to said that... my 5th semester has started! 4 more semester to go!!! till i graduated my HIGHER NATIONAL DIPLOMA!!! good luck to me... and all the best for me....! thank you!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

dream... its was so wonderful...


hi all... i just wanna share something...

like the title of the post above... DREAM.... yes... its totally a nice word to said right? why do i share about dream... the reason is because... i just happen to have a wonderful dream.... its happen not so long but i decide to share it today since i don't know what to share for this blog today... since its had been so long didn't post anything here... hehehe xD it was the first night after i reach Sarawak... my first night at home in my room on my bed... after i done with my semester...

its was so wonderful.. feel like it is real... to real that i though it is a reality... i never happen to feel like that but that dream was so nice.. when i decide to forget about you... you keep pop out in my mind... you never want me to forget about you... why??!!! why???!!! thats look of you was like the way you see me everytime we meet last time.. before you even left the university... >.< why???!! after that dream... i jusut give up on forgetting you... really... this is the first time ever i said like this to myself.. that "GIVE UP" word... its so hard for me to do... but i know that... if i decide to not forget about you... i just need to wait.. right?? so i decide to WAIT.... yes... i going to wait for you... till it is the right time for you to be forget...

should i believe in that dream... but because of that dream... i feel like there still a hope.. hahaha xD i really hope that dream turn into reality but i know it cannot happen cause... its hard for a dream to be reality... a dream will stay as a dream... thats for sure... but still it can be a new memory about my crush in my dream!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

there a story behind every motto i wrote


hye! everyone...

"stay perseverance cause every hard work always has a great payback"

it is fun to view back all the pass right... i been writing diary for the pass few years... as well as writing my quote or motto of life in it... one of my favourite motto of life that i think is the best one is "stay perseverance cause every hard work always has a great payback"... there always a story behind every quote or motto of life i wrote.... i never know that i am so matured that time... its was in the year 2009... that time... that year... when i am a student that going to sit for the big exam in the life of a form 3 student... PMR.... i was so tired of being the best among the best... i done my part as a student and what i got?? i also don't know... back then... maybe its a time when i was that the age of rebelling against my parent... but its just a while only... cause i know thats it is not that good example... plus i am a sister to my little sister... need to show a good example.... hehehe xD  so i start to stop focus on my study... thats time if i remember... its was the beginning of the year... i rest from all the study thing... for the first time i feel freedom... hahaha xD well... all this freedom have a payback too... as you all know... when i said not focus on study i really mean it... even my teacher don't recognize who i was by that time... i not focus in class... homework?? the past 2 year of my form 1 and form 2 was my friend... and that time they are my enemy...  i stop looking for 'them'... i didn't do my homework... thats how's my life in that 2 month or less in the beginning of 2009... of cause there will be a big test... every term... for the first term.... of that 2009... my result of all the subject drop... what to know something... as i said i didn;t even study... my result is still the same as the result of the student that struggling to study for good result at the end... its just an average result... well... thats not make me sad but just really surprise for all my classmate last time.. that result of mine is not like my usual result... then what make me really really sad till i cry that i regret for what i had done.... MY FIRST EVER 'FAIL' FOR A SUBJECT APPEAR.....! there was a 'F' in my result.... its was my Math... my favourite subject of all... I FAIL IT in the year 2009... i really remember it till now... my first ever fail...!!i cry right in front of my teacher! since i sat in front of the teacher.. he saw me crying and asking my friend why? my friend answer him and said "she never fail any subject before... and this is her first time fail" thats what my friend tell him... my friend really understand me so much.. after that time... i start to gain myself back... where is myself before... i look for it back,... and soon i back on track... its not that long to be back... well.... it me! after that fail subject... i wrote myself a motto for 2009.... like its written before...


"stay perseverance cause every hard work always has a great payback"

Friday, November 8, 2013

Miri i'm coming~~~!!


hi dear blogger's reader!

today... i having a day trip to Miri... its just a 2 hours trip driving there... hahaha xD as you can see... i not just sitting at home while i am in my homeland - Sarawak... i travel a lot... :P we're depart to Miri at 9am like that... reach Miri at 11am++ i am not that tired cause i use to travel to Miri by car already... 2 hours in the car is just a typical thing already... not tired or sleepy... i was so energetic in the car... after reach Miri... we all visit my home there,,, so long left the home there... at least sometime i go back there and see it... i really miss my bedroom there... it was like my room here... its purple too! hehehe xD i love purple since i was small... thats why my dad paint my room purple... :D he though that every girl love pink colour but since i was small... i never choose pink colour... i always go for purple... purple beg, purple shoes, purple dress, purple shirt... even purple toy... see how purple maniac i am... hahaha xD up till now i still love purple! my favourite colour!

after that... my family and i went for shopping... at the mall... every single mall Miri... :D i am so happy... like in paradise! hahaha xD well... as usually... i taking a photo of myself~~!! :P and so... this is me today... with different expression to show... i am so happy!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

my day... medical check-up...

hello again... its my 6 days back home and it feel like it has been a lot of day i went to visit the clinic.... >.< i can said i had visited 3 times this days... wow! thats a lot of time... hehehe xD thats my routine this days only... but no worry... i am okay!

today was my 4th time visiting the clinic... but not  to visit the doctor... but for me to get my yearly medical check up! my family did this medical check up annually.... just in case there any problem in our health throughout the year... and also to prevent any unwanted chronic disease to know it before it is too late...

and so... i'm taking my blood test today... and also urine test to check my kidney.... scanning my body... since i'm having asthma... and so many more.... i had been fasting the whole night and haven't have my breakfast yet... just for your information... since i getting my blood test... it is important to give the pure blood without any disturbance of any food in the blood... therefore... fasting is a must!

now... all i hope is a good result that without any chronic disease... i hope my blood level increase back to normal... since i have low blood level~~~!! hehehe xD thats all my day... i just feel hungry today! but i not skip my breakfast... after taking my blood and had done all the check up process... we straight away having our breakfast at any nearby cafe! stay healthy everyone!

"no healthy diet without having the breakfast, lunch and dinner"


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I REALLY MISS YOU... i'm so happy cause you still the same you~~~


well... hello everyone!

today was a tired day for me... hahaha xD wanna know why? well... my whole family went to Mukah to see my little sister... actually is not in the plan to meet my little sister... as you all know.. she's April... born in the month of April and thats hows her name came from... :D  this was my dad sudden planning... we were having our breakfast on the dinning table and all a sudden.. he said... "we're going to meet April in Mukah today.. so get ready.... we going to meet her before her SPM start tomorrow..." well.. since my little sister is studying in a boarding school name MRSM in Mukah... really seldom that i meet her... i also... just back from my college in Negeri Sembilan... not even meet my little sister yet ever sister i reach here that day... so we decided to depart before 10am... just a 3 hours trip from Bintulu....

well in the whole journey there... i was so excited to meet my little sister... then... i flashback started to happen... i been thinking of my crush again... i really want to talk to be again... maybe just said a hello or ask how he is... but i didn't have the courage to do so... how will i do it... when should i do it... is it right for me to do so?? all that appear... I REALLY MISS HIM SO MUCH... ever since he left the university and change to other university.... ever since i and my friend went to a trip to his hometown and ever since the day i go for a trip to Penang... i really do wish to meet him... I REALLY DO MISS HIM SO MUCH.... how childish am i... i said i want to forget about him... i just can't... i just can't.... i don't know why... but is this how i see you....??? well... i can said that you're my first crush... but i don't think we can be a couple.... so this is the feeling of having this kind of feeling... hahaha xD as you all know... i had close this kind of feeling when i in secondary school... never want to be in a relationship although there once i person confess to me when i was in secondary school... well... i just reject that person nicely.... i just don't want to be in relationship last time... cause maybe i think... i am still not matured enough... i am still young... all i think last time is just my study... i see everyone as my friend and never have the intention to be more then friend.... but ever since i met him... everything change... even the feeling i once close it... how can among all the people, its have to be him? well... i also not that good in this thing... cause... i'm still new and fresh in it...

anyway... in the journey... i started to miss you... it may be very weird to said it cause we not even in any relationship or anything... he is just my crush... >.< and i just miss him so much.... so i decide to chat with him after i back from meeting my little sister... i even gather my courage... and so many... i think so many before i even have the courage to do so... i even think... how will i start to chat with him?? hi?? hello?? how are you?? so many think lar... i don't want it to be seen like i bother him or what... i just want to have a talk with him... cause... I MISS HIM SO MUCH!

and just now... i chat with him! hahaha xD i click his name... and the chat box appear... i type and i erase... i type and i erase.... how stupid am i... in the end... i click enter with all my courage... my heart pounding so fast and my hand becoming cold... >.< it was a HI word and asking how are you lately.. and so on... i though that it will be an awkward conversation but... i am wrong... it is not that awkward at all that night! hahaha xD kinda funny.. till i got neck stress... aigoo... he chat with me like he use to talk with me... its was as if he is talking to me like he is around... hahaha xD really funny to chat with him.. although his chat make me feel so angry... but i am so happy... too happy... i always smile the whole time see his reply... he is still the same him... i though that he will treat me differently after he change his university... but i am wrong.. i lied to myself that i will forget him... i lied... the true is I MISS HIM SO MUCH! i'm so happy... cause he still the same him! :D 

Friday, November 1, 2013

i am back~~!!!


hello everyone!!!! i am now back to my hometown... my lovely hometown... my land... my house.... my room... and my bed! i am back everyone!

i was shock and happy... my room is as pretty and beautiful as before... just got change a bit of some structure... i guess my mom make some changes in my room... feel comfortable to be in it again... hahaha xD love my room so much... its is as clean as before i leave it last time for my study back at the college... now i am back here... gonna appreciate my time spending it here!

about the shock part... jjang jjang jjang! my parent bought me some present... really kind of them... they spend a lot for me this whole years while i am growing under their care... i coming back home going to my room to keep my luggage.. i was shock to see some shopping beg on my table... i was like... huh?? whats this?? why it is on here... i not keep this thing here last time... and i check what was in it... deng~~~~!!! it my present! G-Shock series watch, branded handbag and 2 pair of branded shoes... wow!!! i love it so much! thank you mommy.... thank you daddy! love you so much!
here is the picture of it.. :D
 nice isn't it??? i love it so much! wow... i don't know what to said... hahaha xD but still.. i was happy! :D
by the way...
i love my family so much!
love them always! 
<3

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

assignment... exam... i free from it~~~!!!


Today~~~!!! has mark as the day end of my first semester of my HIGHER NATIONAL DIPLOMA know as HND in short.... i done my exam... light a flying ninja! hahaha xD who said Electronic and Electrical Engineering is hard a... my first exam for the HND is great! ii did great this time... seriously... my lecturer not even give us any tips for exam... we are on our on in the battlefield...  i though i cannot survive... but still i alive.... still me! hehehe xD

i can said that HND is a hard program to attend... not to said... if you not hardworking enough you cannot pass this HND.... i though that it will be as easy as my foundation year... but its not... it is as hard as a degree program... it was fun to learn since it is all base of experience not from book... so i can said that... if you like challenge.... HND is a nice program to try.. if you are lazy... don't ever try it... you will die for sure... this program content a lot of stress... if you cannot manage it... don't ever think of trying it...

now then... exam had done and also i had pass up all my assignment and lab report.... i can rest like a whole day! oh ya.... i slept so long today... well... its an happy day for me this semester... the whole exam weeks was a stress for me.... not enough sleep... not enough eat... no even have enough rest....  oh~~!! i am so tired! hahaha xD

2 days again and i am back to my hometown... my land... my house.... my room and my lovely bed... all are waiting for me! and lovely parent and my beloved little sister are all waiting for my comeback... i have to be back as the childish sharon that they all know... bye then...
 

Monday, October 14, 2013

i'm not short, but i'm cute size!


hello everyone! nice to see you all again... i am back now... in Negeri Sembilan... back to college life now... back to my place as a student now.. >.< nothing good happen but i kinda feel happy a little bit... haha xD

hye! there too all the people that said i am short... NO! you are wrong! i am not short but my height is just too cute! since me myself is cute too! hahaha xD i am cute so do my size! hahaha xD
so don't blame me... for my height, i just happen to have the short height from my mother... well, my brother and little sister is tall since they take my dad height, although i not take the tall height but i take such a lovely face and also pretty face from my parent! thats why i am not feeling bad when i know i am short... it is just typical asian height! well at least next time, it won't be hard for me to find a boyfriend... hehehe xD my ideal type of boyfriend is that he have to be taller then me.. hehehe :D it will be fun so have one! hope so... 

Friday, October 11, 2013

i'm sorry... i closed my heart for you already!


life is unexpected right? you never know who will be with you and also left you.... it hard to have this feeling... i have one but then i just can keep to my self only... to you my crush.... i think you just a pass by for me... you just pass by my heart for this last 2 semesters.... and now i will totally forget about you... i will forget you.... i am so sorry a... it hurt myself when i think that my love to you cannot be reply... it hurt me in my heart... i hardly fall for someone but i don't know why i fall for you last semester.... maybe your leave is a sign for me that you are not for me... i just gonna give up on you only... you are just someone i use to love and just stay and be friend only... i will think you that you are just a friend to me.... its just a crush to me and a one-side-loved to me... sorry... i closed my heart that you once open and let it open that i closed it again....

i even said you in my prayer that, after this trip to Penang, if you ever change your way of seeing me and talking to me or even see me,... i will consider on waiting for you... but if all this not happen... then you are not for me... i will just forget about you and my feeling toward you... i put all this in God hand... if it is you He will show me a sign... but if it is not you, then He won't let you meet me when i am in Penang,.. thats is my deal with God... and i had know the answer, that you are not for me now... so... i just follow the deal i make with God.... sorry, my dear crush... i had give up on you... cause i don't want to get hurt myself and you don't even know my feeling toward you... i want to end my one-sided-love toward you... i am sorry... i had lock my heart for you again... i don't think you can open it again... i think it is for the other people other then you to open...

so for now...
goodbye, my crush~~~ i hope you are happy with your life now and stay healthy a... i will just see your happiness from far here... :D

Friday, October 4, 2013

i'm scare >.<


this is what i scare the most... well... falling for someone else... why? cause... i know that they will gone away from me sooner or later... i am really scare to falling in love from the beginning.. that is why i stay single for 19 years.. wow... thats seem a long time right... yeah... like what had written before in my other post "ideal type??" there had explain why am i stay single too... i am a very obedient girl.. haha xD sorry for the self-praising...

by the way, i never know that i will end up falling in love for someone else that i don't know whether he love me too... its a crush or can be said a one-sided love?! i crush on someone but he never know it.. its hard for me to see him leave last time but i have too... i have to stay strong and admit to myself, it is just a trial... can i meet him again? what will happen if i meet him? confess to him? will i be happy with it? will i be happy to meet him again..? will i still have the same feeling for him? or have i change? this is all the question that pass through my mind...

i may be happy and easy going at the outside, but deep inside my heart, i am lonely, sad and full of mysteries. i may be easy to read like an open book but i am full of mysteries. don't take me as if i am so weak... i am strong too... others look at me as if i am weak but the truth is i am not so weak. like other girl i am a weak creature that have soft feeling... easy to be hurt... i never been in a relationship before so i don't know how it would be like in that side of the world....
i am scare that i fall for other people again if the person i had crush on is not going to be my boyfriend cause i am scare.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

i am beautiful in my way! ^_^


i have confident in me... i don't care whoever said how i was... fat?? lazy?? overweight... ugly?? not so pretty... or whatever that is bad to hear... i don't give the shit out of your word... cause what i know... i am beautiful in my own way... i been create like how i am... but not the way that is like others... i am unique in my way... so for those who is bad-mouth about me... i so sorry.. i don't care or have the feeling on angry with what you all wanna said about me...

people.... pretty at the outside is not what make us beautiful... what is beautiful is you are beautiful in both inner and outer... pretty face don't last long but beautiful in our inner self last long... girls... just be yourself... you are beautiful in your way... just don't care what others told you how you look like or ask you to be like who you are not... please... i tell you that... you are perfect in a way who you are already be.. don't be like a plastic doll where it make you look like you are so cheap.. just be yourself and be around with those who know you for you and not those who think you are not the way you think... you beautiful in your way... just smile and happy cause.. smile make you look beautiful...

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

wait? or not?




lately i just don't know who am i now.... i keep changing my decision and i am not like i use to be... someone that is very confident of her feeling but now.... my mind was like... should i forget or keep on waiting.. thats the painful thing i ever done... waiting.... its hurt me to the chest where i done really feel fine... my face may look good and cheerful at the outside... but deep in side.... i am hurt... too hurt... i don't know why... but i just feel like this is over-reacting only right... its just a crush.. or maybe a one-sided-love... why am i take this too serious... >.<

can i wait any longer? can i? i don't know if i can keep going with this hurt in my chest or not... cause i kinda also fad up on "you".... yes... i am almost fad up.. but my heart always told me to give "you" some time... but i think it is not a long time... i guess... depend on the situation... if... IF... someone can unlock the lock that i lock my heart to wait for you... then... i guess... thats a goodbye to you... yes... a goodbye...  i kinda sad to think it again... cause... everytime i started to like a person... that person will gone far away from me... too far and its hurt... i really is no luck in this type of feeling... yes... especially in LOVE... do i really don't deserve to be loved?

Monday, September 16, 2013

If only i'm brave enough!!! but i am not!!


like the title said... if only i am brave enough... IF ONLY.... IF ONLY.... wondering why?? well.... i have this crush on someone... yes... just a crush... but i can't further my emotion cause i don't know why... but still if only i am brave, i think i will tell him... my heart had close for about 19 years... hehehe xD i not that easy to open my heart type... but i don't know why but this person had open my heart all a suddenly... i also don't know... but still i try to deny myself it is not true... but then... he was someone that open my heart... i just realize recently... just recently....

i had been betrayed by my own feeling and emotion... i shouldn't do like this right.... it is not fair right?? haiz.... i feel like i don't have any luck in relationship.... cause every time i start to like a person, that person will going somewhere far and gone.... thats why i said i didn't have the luck in love... sad right... i feel like i don't have the right to in love with others at all... but well... what to do... thats how its goes right? you cannot change your own destiny...

if i was brave enough... i already told my crush my feeling for him before he gone... but thats cannot happen... cause... i am not brave enough... thats why i am still stuck in my own feeling... it is feel like a one side love only right?? well... thats can be true too... cause i also don't know whether or not that person got feeling toward me or not... some time i wonder... if i tell him my feeling, what will happen? if it is not him, who will it be?? if i follow what my heart said, will anything change?? thats all the question i think in my mind... i guess... i only feel like its a one side love... haiz...

some time, i always feel the pain in my chest... cause thinking about something that not suppose to be thinking... i always think to much that make me sad sometime... i'm weird right... too weird... haiz... what to do... thats how i live now... i live in my own world that i hardly express my feeling... i am good in hiding my feeling... cause it is hard to see whether i like a person... cause i know how to control my feeling in front of others.... i am so mysterious... too mysterious...

well then... got to go.... night night everyone... sometime, i wish that i can turn back time where there is time for me to express my feeling toward him when he is still nearby... but now... he is far from me... ^.^ if only i am brave enough.... but i am not!

Friday, September 13, 2013

playing in the class... in programmable logic controller class...


hello... it been a while right... hehehe xD sorry... been busy in study now... well in this busy hour of study... we how taking ELECTRICAL AND ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING course... in the PLC class also know as programmable logic controller class... having the chance to create or program some software.. with PLC device and a push start button... ^^ its fun though... we going to program something after this whole busy time of rushing for assignment and also study... now it the period of having some fun! 

when the lecturer hang in the switch start button to me... my reaction was like... aww so cute! so small~~!! it is so cute... the size of 10 sen... it is small... very small... hehehe xD then i was like clicking clicking it since it is so nice to play with... then my lecturer said something about the other class he teach last time where the colourful diod(small colourful light), they all having fun decorate theirself with it... hehehe xD our lecturer is fun to play with.. no stress between lecturer and student.. thats why we are so close... 

this type of study environment is fun and stress-less... no tension and awkwardness between the student and lecturer.. and i like this environment the most... hehehe xD

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

free.. i guess... ^^


what a tiring day for me...! i had not having my sleep for 2 days in a roll already... all thanks to the assignment... thanks goodness... my sleepless night is gone for today!! i back on track where i can sleep again tonight!!! yeah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!! i can sleep already... it been 2 night i see how the night be day... the dark be bright... and it fun to enjoy the scenery with a bunch of assignment and maybe a cup of hot mocha?? hehehe xD i'm having so much fun while rushing my assignment the 2 night before... and now.......... i'm free... maybe... perhap... i think... kinda... could be... i guess...sort of... possibly... might be.... just for this week i guess... free from assignment... never know what the future will lead you to right?? hehehe xD

now... i'm maybe free... but my mind... is full of thing going on.. but i feel blank... is it because of tire?? or is just that my emotion is not stable?? i never know right... but i having fun... i think i am missing something... but don't know what... this is me... but i don't really know myself yet... yeah... it had been 9 years i live as me... but does not know detailly who i am actually.. i know i am Fiona Sharon but that is just something everyone know right?? but i just don't really know who i am... but for sure,... right now i am free from assignment!!! yeah!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Assignment... you really made me like a dead meat now...


hello everyone... what a tiring day for me this whole day.... last week i just finish my exam for the first phase... i though that everything is okay after the exam week... but then, its not! my assignment!! thats it!!! assignment..! totally dead... i'm doing it like overnight thing like that... but its not enough.. why do the due date place at the same week as the exam week??!! its not fair... haiz... too stress for me..

i didn't slept the whole night just because of the assignment... but i really hope that the assignment i did was great... i hardly can do anything right... totally,.... everything seem to be so hard for me.. not idea.... i'm stress now... studying electrical and electronic really hard... its not that hard but just so stress... too stress..! haiz... now... i am doing it again... assignment... please be kind to me again...!! we gonna meet again for another 5 semester... just this time... don't give me stress... soon enough you gonna be submit too... so for the time being... please be kind to me!! >.<

Saturday, September 7, 2013

ideal type??


hello everyone... time passes so fast.... right??? do you all having time or spending time with someone you love and you care?? really?? make sure you won't regret it after time pass again that you regret about not making time for them... time is precious so make sure you appreciate it a... peace...

recently... i found out that my ideal type of boyfriend.. hehehe xD kinda shy wanna share it.. but well... something is worth to be share right... its not a crime to share something like this... right??

i had been single for about 19 years and never even in a relationship before... believe that or not?? never expect it right... hehe xD is just that... i am scare to involve in love relationship.. last time... when i was in secondary school or also know as high school in the west country, i had made a promise to myself that... do not have a boyfriend till i graduate from my secondary school... this is because i promise to put all my strength and mind in my study and i kinda feel that having a boyfriend during that time is not a perfect time... and also wasting my time and money and energy... i think... hehe xD i prefer to have friends rather then having a boyfriend last time.... how childish was i am... and thanks goodness... i kept my promise... wow... never know that i am mentally strong! hehehe xD but if i had a chance to have one now or in the future... i will try and at least i had experience... rather then not... but if i had a chance... i believe i will try... but for sure that person will try so hard to capture my heart... cause i don't really like a person that not even try their best in capture my heart... it hard to attract me by the way... i hardly fall for someone else easily... so do your best a... to someone else.... since i still don't know what future will lead me to...

my life is all about drama... i think... but still i feel that.. my life is like a normal girl... i sleep well... eat well and live well.... sometime when i was watching a drama.. and see the couple in that particular drama... i wonder how will my future boyfriend will be... well... a perfect boyfriend is just happen to be in drama... so... everyone... wake up... lets face the reality... now i realize that having a perfect one is not fun... apparently it just happen in drama... i rather choose someone that is easy to talk to... an easy going guy?? hehehe xD i love to talk and chat... that what make me feel that there is someone there to chat with me and hear my story at the same time... chit chating... playing around together.. fighting like a child... wow... thats hard to find right?? i tend to believe what others said easily... a playful chat together will be fun though... to play with.. i like someone that is bright and cheerful... since sometime my mood is not that good... hopefully there is someone that will try to make me happy?? smile..?? hehe xD to think this again make me shy and also smile at the same time... i start to imaging thing now... beside that... most importantly... he has to be someone that is funny... i like funny person... i don't know why... but i tend to like someone that is bright and cheerful and also funny at the same time... cause i easily get bored and doing nothing... lastly.... the most important characteristic of my ideal type is someone that is not a gamer... playing online game like dota or blackshot regularly...!! is a no no to me... playing online game rarely or sometime, i still can accept but if all the time.. sorry, you are not in my list.... like i said... time is precious... i hope for someone that can make time to be with me... not someone that is 24/7 infront of the computer playing game without even notice me or care about me... attention is important to me...! i don't really like someone that is a smoker too... if you are a smoker... you are not on my list.. since i having asthma... cigarette's smoke is not good for me.. i tend to avoid people who smoke or having the smoke smell on the shirt or maybe when they are breathing... so no hard feeling a... i just think about my health...

hopefully i will meet one... in the future... my ideal type of guy... if i found you (who ever you are... anyone.... and i don't know who yet...) having all what i listed up... you maybe on my list.. i guess... hehehe xD most important... someone that can accept me for who i am... :) all and all... this is my ideal type of guy... don't feel offend cause.... each and everyone have their own ideal type right?? me too...

Friday, September 6, 2013

done! but can't be so relax yet!



at last... exam week done... next week gonna start class again... after a month later... exam week coming again before i off to have my semester break... well everything is okay in exam for this week... too okay for me... now what in my mind was just... ASSIGNMENT... my PLC assignment 1 not yet done yet... haiz~~~!!! "sigh" i wonder... can i finish my assignment??? maybe... possible?? hahaha xD i guess possible... hopefull it will be not invalid... 

i hope my exam this time is as good as last time... since i had start my 4 semester now in my college and now having my first semester of HND which is know as HIGHER NATIONAL DIPLOMA... the rule is so far different... too different then normal diploma and degree marking... i really hope to get the DISTINCTION grade... hopefully... wanna graduate my course with first honour certificate... seriously aim for it... hopefully...!

now i need to get rid of the unneccessary in my life first in order to achieve my goal... maybe a new rule for myself again?? well.. need to think about it again... hehehe xD anyway... gonna rush doing assignment now... hope can submit it on time... hopefully~~~!!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

me now and the 1 year before...


days, months and yeaars.... it move really fast isn't it??!! how fast can it be in years to come? feel like 365 days per year is not enough for me... i guess... when everything is not in the right place... sometime i hope that i can turn back time, and maybe choose different decision i did before... what will i do?? will i regret it later?

now... many of my friend told me that i had change a lot... well kinda be too open... maybe... without even i realise it... maybe... i am like i use to be... but i think i had change cause met a lot of different personality people... i guess...

when think back time... lets go back to 1 year before... i am a shy and every emotion or feeling or any burden.... i hide to myself... i didn't bring it out... and its totally hurt me a lot... really... a lot... it hurt to think back the pain i kept for myself... nobody was there to hear my story or pain.. i not that trust anyone back then... everything i kept to my secret... even the smallest detail of myself... i am not who i am now...

now... i kinda feel that i a bit open.. well.. the pain does lost a bit.. feeling and emotion... i tell everyone... not even the smallest pain i having now, others don't know... i feel a little free now... i guess trusting is not something hard to do, right?? i try to trust people a bit now... i may be naive but... i don't really trust people... i guess.. i still feel that i don't even know who i am... i guess i need to know myself more now...

overall... i guess i need to study myself... i feel like i will be more different then now in the years to come i guess... maybe... sort of... hahaha xD but still i am happy to know myself a bit now...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

lately



i always wonder... is it right for me to do this thing? my curiosity start to appear now... ever since i was.... well hard to said... i was not that obsess of something weird... but just that i feel that i am lost somehow...

i feel like this is not the right me and i wonder... am i doing the correct thing... i hate to overthink something that i do really care... but now... i feel that i am over thinking everything.... too many thing to think make me sick of myself... where the me that i know before... i am not myself now... the emotion and feeling that i have now is not how it surpose to be... i wonder... i did change a lot now...
last time i remember... i am not that open person type... and hide everything about myself to everyone that i know... even my feeling and emotion... i fake it  and hide it well... but now... i had change... totally change... is it really me now?? i feel like i doesn't know myself lately... i had change... somehow... i regret something in the past... i hide myself so well that... i regret it now...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

My trip to Perak with friends!! vacation time!! lets enjoy!!


hello...
hehehe xD
i been having fun in Perak for 3 days...
FROM 6 AUGUST TO 8 AUGUST
yes..!!
travelling with friends..
hehehe xD

so..
on the first day...
we use KTM to perak...
and finally we reach there at night...
so worry...
cause we are going to sleep at our friend house there...

his family were so kind to us...
they pick us up from the train station...
since there is no more ticket to the station nearby there house area...
they pick us up from TANJUNG MALIM...
which is about 1 hours plus..
i think from their house...

here is the faces of us...
on the first day...

oh...
by the way...
my first night at Teluk Intan...
aigoo...
why am i so clumsy....
i knock my head at the road sign...
it hurt...
but...
whenever i being clumsy..
like knock my head or slip/drop on the floor..
i always end up laughing...
it can reduces the pain and embrassing you had after its happen...
but...
no worry...
everything is okay...
just a small bruise...
so no worry...
suddenly remember...
my friends will ask me...
"how clumsy can you get?"
i will always answer the same answer..
"very clumsy...!"

on the second day...
we having fun visiting perak!!
hehehe xD
going to the beach!!
and eat!!
hehehe xD
kinda fun..
and we see the sunset view too...


after that...
on the third day..
before we going back to college...
we having our last breakfast out in perak...
and go for
car wash??!!
hehehe xD
just for fun...
and
before we going to the bus station
back to KL...
we take a group photo as a memory in Perak!!


thats all..
my vacation in Perak...
hope to meet this family again one day...
they are so kind and friendly to us..
thank you for taking care of us in PERAK...
feel like they are a family of mine also...
thank you very very much!!!
we enjoy our vacation so much!!
^_^
thats is my vacation to PERAK!!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

new semester, new hairstyle!


hello everyone...
new semester had start...
i kick off my new semester with new hairstyle...
yes..!
i cut my hair short...
i look totally different now...
from long to short hair...
but now..
i miss my long hair...

my friend told me this...
your hair getting shorter and shorter by semester...
and i realise it too..

from the first semester...
i'm having a very very long hair...
and slowly slowly...
every semester break...
i surely cut my hair...
and new semester start...
my hair getting shorter a bit then the semester before...

but still..
i love to try new style!!
happy new semester everyone!!!
study mood on!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

girl hangout!!! i'm back to my craziness friends~~!!!


after a long time didn't meet them...
finally..
we meet up again...
haiz~~~!!
miss them a lot..
sincerely...

enjoying the whole day with them..
now...
we all going seperately our own path..
to chase our dream...
when holiday come..
everyone...
back to their hometown...
and when that happen..
appointment with ourself is a must!!

hehehe xD
i had spend the whole day with them today...
from city to shopping mall..
to the beach...
love you all..
my best friends!!
miss you all so much...

hope to meet you all soon again...
never though that we had grow up...
but deep inside we are still a kid like before...
still crazy as before...

hope to see you all soon...
friends forever!!
miss you all... ^^

Friday, June 28, 2013

typically asian picture pose.... the peace pose...


hi all...
its me again...
nothing special today...
just wanna said hi to all..

well...
today...
i going out with my family...
and nothing more...

then i suddenly think of taking selca...
then thinking of the peace sign pose...
hehehe xD
so there...
i did it...
a typical asian peace picture pose...
and don't forget a smile everyone!!!
peace!!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

sibling hangout... with my beloved brother!!

my brother look handsome right??
hehehe xD
sorry to said...
he is single but not available...
he is on reserve position to someone else now...
well...
techically my school senior in senior high school...
 
now we are home...
what next...??
hangout together right...
walk around and drive around our hometown...
lets go shopping!!!
well technically...
window shopping...

today....
i going out with my brother...
its been a hard time for us...
back then...
because all so busy with our course...
busy study...
now its our college break...
how about a break of a study??

not much thing i did with my brother...
just a walk and a shopping together...
maybe eat too...
hehehe xD
but then...
i really hope semester break woudn't end soon!!!
>.<

Friday, June 21, 2013

I going home!! i coming home!!!

hello everyone...
today i am so happy!!!
because~~~~~~~
i coming back home...
at last...
after a whole tiring time in college...
its my semester break...
i am going to be happy now...
i back...
miss my room, home, bed and especially my family...

i going back home
with my brother(my biological brother... blood related brother) and and roommate(technically my friend... can said as my sister too)
we have the same flight back...
waiting for the departure time is somehow bored...
but when think about going back home...
we are like a happy little kids!!

how happy we are...
now..
we are back home...
will cherish my time with my family more...
happy holiday everyone...
i mean semester break!!
bye...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Girl time with my twin(?)... well technically its my friend!!


hello..
hello... everyone...
its sunday...
happy blessed sunday everyone...
today...
i going to church with my twin...
hehehe xD
we meet back before april this year...
its on GOOD FRIDAY...
at last...
i meet back my twin...
not biological or blood related twin...
but a twin of the same brain and mind...
we are so crazy
but we just different in our own way...
our personality is different
but own craziness level is the same...
its fun to have a friend that can be our twin!

oh ya...
at church just now...
after the service...
we taking selca together...
picture picture picture everyone...
here a snipet of it...
see how elegent she is...
thats my twin...
last time she is long hair...
she look pretty...
now with short hair...
she look handsome(?)
wait...
its not handsome...
but elegent!
hehehe xD

then after that...
we going to her hostel...
having a girl time together...
eat, laugh, talk, and wait...
whats next??
ehmmm....
girl time...
lets do our nail~~!!
mine is purple.. and hers blue...
not forgot...
picture too...
here....
she is taller then me...
ermm...
just a few centimeter away??!!
hehehe xD
but we are typical asian height...
not too short and not too tall...
thats is us...
me and my twin...

she is a cheerful and friendly person...
its nice to know her...
and i happy to get to know her
on Good Friday!
thanks God to give me such a good friend!!!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

my best friend in the college ^_^



meet my friend...
i meet her since july 2012...
but we have a very weird connection together....

we been friend for about 2 semester already...
but didn't exchange phone no. at all...
haiz~~~!!
weird isn't it....

we taking same course
which is
Electrical and Electronic Engineering...
always same class...

she a cheerful person...
always so happy person...
but when she is serious...
her face all go down....
thats when you know something is not right...
so..
better be quiet!!

all and all...
she is a kind person...
kinda like a child too...
when we are together...
being crazy is the thing we always do...
like sister already...
hehehe xD

by the way...
i happy..
to have her as my friend...
hopefully our friendship last long!!
^_^


Saturday, May 25, 2013

A trip to metaltech


some of the member who went to the metaltech trip

haiz~~!!
i'm so tired today~~!!
 TT.TT

going on a trip 
to MetalTech....
with the engineering club member...

but still...
i'm having some fun too!!

first...
we all though the trip is cancel...
well..
thats happen on the day that the school cancel it last minute...
then my lecturer call me
that the trip still occur...
and so...
its happen...
our trip to metaltech...
the world of engineering!!

when we walk around the trip..
got this one machine that caught my eyes!!
seriously..
its fun...
the driving video game...
like the one in arcade game...
but this is...
like you are in the game...
where you can drive safely without hurt although you having the accident...
and you can feel the movement like you are in the car...
seriously...
its fun!!!!!!!




as you can see...
i having so much fun in playing it...
hehehe xD

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

me in the past and present



days had pass
time also pass
people change
as well as me...
but my personality won't change
i am just the way i am...

i though that i will grow mature
as the time passes...
but still i realize that
i'm not grow mature
but childish...

i think like an adult...
but act like a child....

thats is me and no one can change me...
this is my life, my way and my future..
and
i will be
Fiona Sharon
forever.....

i love my life...
nothing can exchange
with the life and experience i have had~~!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

back to basic.... childish look??!! ^_^



i'm bored...
nothing to do today...
since it is sunday...
and its rain...
cannot go out for exercise...

so..
to kill my boring time...
i make-up myself...
and 
the theme is...
back to basic...
the childish look~~!!

isn't me look so cute!
:3
wanna try childish look sometime...
its been aged that i hasn't tie my hair 
into 
double pony-tail...
miss this childhood moment of my life...
hehehe xD

i may be aged...
but my mind and heart
is still a child...

be happy and enjoy the life...
as you can!
:)